Are you a cheater?

Infidelity – Cheating is an Epidemic

When it comes to marriages, statistics show that the parties involved have either cheated in the past, is currently cheating, or will cheat in 80% of all marriages over the course of the marriage. According to these same statistics, approximately 50% of married women and 60% of married men are cheating. And while an affair can be physical and sexual, it can also be a romantic friendship or a strong emotional attachment.

So why do people cheat?

If you asked 100 people, you might get 100 different answers ranging from feeling alone to “I don’t know…it just happened.” In some relationships, cheating becomes a way to get back at your mate because they cheated first, or made you mad. However, the most common reason reported by men and women for cheating is that they feel their spouse or partner is not paying enough attention to them.

Humans long to be connected. This is why Facebook has so many active users. Without attention from one’s spouse, you feel disconnected, which can lead to feeling de-valued and un-heard. This in turn leads some to find this important and vital human need elsewhere. Lack of attention goes hand in hand with a lack of feeling appreciated.

What many people don’t realized is that you can’t fix the problems in your relationship by going outside your relationship. Cheating is external, meaning it is using something outside of one’s self/marriage to fill an internal void. This will only add to the problems rather than help fix them. I encourage couples to talk openly and honestly get to the reason for the infidelity because it is the only way to begin to mend the relationship. Often times there has been some dishonesty and trust needs to be reestablished. This can be done by going to see a professional such as a counselor, life coach, or pastor.

Infidelity doesn’t have to be the end of your relationship. Couples who are able to get beyond the cheating and are able to move forward describe that their relationships feel stronger. They feel that if they are able to work this out, they can work through anything.

Can’t stop cheating? 

Are you someone who struggles with cheating? Do you find yourself hiding or lying about casual meetings. These may be signs that you are not be ready for a committed relationship. It would be to your benefit to take some time and examine your reasons for entering relationships and the types of relationships and individuals you want to be with.

 Jameson is a Clinical Social Worker and professor. He coaches families and individuals in the areas of self-improvement, relationships, and more. Jameson is also a consultant for businesses seeking to improve employee relationships, build team morale, and increase productivity.

For more info, visit www.jamesonmercier.com or email info@jamesonmercier.com/ Twitter: @JamesonMercier