Newtown is My Town.

Left to right: Asrielle, 4; Jaeson 3 months; Tamar 2

A couple of days ago I was given a taste of what it would be like should any harm come to my children. As a father of three, I grieve for families who have lost  God’s most precious gift. Gone are the bedtime stories and the 2 am calls to “get the monster”. Gone are the cold little hands and feet sneaking into your bed because there’s something magical about mommy and daddy’s bed. 

I am aware of the fact that Newtown, CT could have been my town. Those precious little kids could have been my kids…and in many ways they are. While we birth and raise our own children, the fact remains that we rely on each other to protect them and keep them safe when we aren’t around. This is especially true when it comes to teachers. I know very well what those parents and that community have lost. I mourn and grieve with them. While incidents such as these are very tragic, they remind me to hold my kids a little longer and a little tighter. I am reminded to cherish the moments that fly by all too quickly.

In the next few days and weeks, parents will be asked questions that they are not prepared to answer.

“Daddy, why did that man hurt my friends?”

“Mommy, why are you crying?”

“Why do people hurt other people with guns?” 

The remaining children of Newtown have gone from being concerned about Barney the Dinosaur and Sprout to being overwhelmed with confusion. They will hear and see things on television that they cannot comprehend. And when they look to their parents for comfort and reassurance, the looks on their faces will tell them that things have changed.

As a mental health professional, I am glad to hear that these families and the entire community have access to counselors who will help them deal with what they have experienced. Everyone, including the parents, surviving teachers and staff at Sandy Hook will benefit from talking to mental health professionals. First responders and crime scene investigators, despite their experience and professionalism, have undoubtedly been impacted by what they have seen.

Coping

In times of tragedy and despair, we find it difficult to cope and go on. However, moving forward is exactly what must happen. Parents need to reassure their children that they are safe now and no one is going to hurt them. When the children ask questions, give them age-appropriate answers. Don’t be afraid to seek emotional and spiritual support. Reach out to friends, family, and professionals. Moving forward does not mean forgetting, but rather carrying their memory forward. Take care of yourself and each other.

Jameson is a Clinical Social Worker and professor. He works with families and individuals in the areas of self-improvement, relationships, and more. Jameson is also a consultant for businesses and organizations seeking to improve employee relationships, build team morale, and increase productivity. For more info, visit www.jamesonmercier.com or email info@jamesonmercier.com. You can also follow Mercier Wellness & Consulting on Facebook or via Twitter: @JamesonMercier